The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck
If you haven’t yet read the NY Times #1 bestseller, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Manson, you should grab it and give it a try. But I warn you of two things:
1. There are more F-bombs thrown around than my 20 year reunion with my NYC friends.
2. There are going to be a few bitter pills to swallow along the way.
You see, Manson points out the difference between “not giving a f*ck” and “indifference” and makes it clear that YOU need to take responsibility for your failures.
Are you ready to honestly look in the mirror?
If there’s a bad relationship, and you’re unhappy about it, it’s not their fault. If your employees are lazy and don’t work the way you want them to, and they do it repeatedly, it’s not their fault. If your practice isn’t what you want it to be, it’s nobody’s fault but yours. Indifference is simply not caring enough to do anything, but when you “don’t give a f*ck”, it means you say and do the things you need to do to have healthier relationships and a healthier bottom line. As Manson explains in the book, fear of rejection makes us “give a f*ck” about having to succeed and not be rejected, so we don’t say the things we need to say to solve problems and we often blame others for our predicaments.
The book gets into some really great details about how one can change their view of their life and relationships and goals and that “pursuing the negative generates the positive”. To quote Manson:
“The pain you pursue in the gym results in better all-around health and energy. The failures in business are what lead to a better understanding of what’s necessary to be successful. Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships.”
The good news is that in our business lives, we are at the top of the hierarchy. We have the right to choose whatever it is we want to change. We can forge amazing relationships and do amazing ortho and there is absolutely ZERO that can prevent us each from having the best practice, the best outcomes, the best patients, the best relationships and on and on. It just takes effort, time and responsibility. Which brings us to “Manson’s Law of Avoidance”.
“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”
Have you ever dreamt of being an amazing guitarist but just kept putting off the lessons? Maybe that difficult conversation with that employee has been waiting way too long. Perhaps writing down that long term business plan and creating a pro-forma that makes sense will finally get done next year.
Oh, everyone wants to talk a big game about what they’re willing to do to get the practice of their dreams, but when it comes down to it, how much “pain” are most willing to endure to get their best life? I’m in a position to having a lot of conversations with a lot of orthodontists and regarding traveling for CE, spending money on consultants, having difficult conversations, investing in technology and solving patient-related issues. I hear every excuse in the book and it’s always blamed on others, whether it’s partners, family, employees or patients. They’ll take vacations all over the world, but won’t travel for a CE event because they can’t leave their family for a weekend. They want the practice of their dreams but their team gets in the way and they just can’t bring themselves to say what must be said. They aren’t making a living and are foundering in practice but aren’t willing to spend the money to get the help they need and are going to wait until they “have more money” to spend it on consultants.
Remember: “Pursuing the negative generates the positive.”
You can do this, but I’ll ask you what Manson asks in the book…
…do you give enough of a f*ck to get it done?
Go get em!
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